3rd Anniversary

Today is our third anniversary. I was going to write a long, romantic post about how we met but I never got it done. So, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version: We met online at a club for white women and Asian guys. No, it wasn't THAT kind of club, get your mind out of the gutter! The girl who referred me to the club was a fellow martial artist that I used to exchange posts with on Muzi which is a Chinese website. (Don't click on the link because the site is RIFE with pop-ups. I only linked it out of good journalistic practice). I was doubtful at first but I signed up for the club and was snapped up nearly immediately by the Citizen and one other guy.

The other guy was very nice and really did love me, so I felt shitty about breaking his heart. He was in a tragic situation whereby he came to the U.S. as a Chinese fleeing persecution in Indonesia, definitely not a Chinese-friendly country, as I realized from his story. His family fled to Indonesia to avoid the Communist revolution in China. Upon arrival in Indonesia, his family was told they had to change their first and last names to names on a government-approved list. Indonesia is mainly Muslim and hostile to Chinese. On top of that, an immigration lawyer had not filed his asylum papers by his deadline, so he was sort of in a limbo status. But, I also think he did not like being Chinese very much. He did not socialize with other Chinese, as if he wanted to be considered white. He also lived in CA, which would have been difficult to maintain a relationship due to the distance.

The Citizen lived in North Miami Beach. Unbidden and for no occasion, he sent me a Chinese cookbook (although it came Postage Due to my P.O. box!). I wanted to thank him but my computer was not working, so I called Information and got his phone number. So that was our first phone call. (We began e-mailing one another in June 2001.) Part of his job entailed ongoing training, so he arranged to take a class in Clearwater, FL, about 30 minutes from my home. At the time he came to this area, my beloved grandmother was at the end of her days. She was my rock through my parent's divorce and my turbulent teenage years. I dreaded the thought of losing her and didn't know how I'd do without her.

I originally planned to make the drive to Clearwater, however, due to the duress of my grandmother's situation, I did not feel I could. The Citizen offered to drive to the area, so we met for our first date at Brandon Ale House on August 8, 2001. Bear in mind that "8" is a lucky number in Chinese (due to the continous form of the number, trace it in the air with your finger and you'll see what I mean). Double numbers (08/08) are lucky in Chinese also. He brought me flowers for our first date.

My grandmother died on August 10, 2001, at the age of almost-97. Since I did not make much money, I didn't know what I'd do for the last-minute fare home. As my step-brother (who lived with me at the time) and I searched the Internet for airfares, the Citizen called to see how I was doing. He immediately offered to purchase my airline ticket with his frequent flyer points. Since he traveled (and still does) often for business, he amassed airline points quickly. A situation which would have been financially difficult for me was resolved instantly. I had only one short date with him and he offered to do this for me. On my birthday on October 2001, he told me he loved me. I did not reciprocate the feeling. I was used to relationships ending in failure and I thought it dishonest to lie to him and tell him I loved him if I really didn't. I believe I said it on Thanksgiving, 2001. It took me another month!

We started seeing each other on alternating weekends. Mostly I would fly to Miami on Friday nights and return Sunday nights (thank you American Airlines for that choice of 3 commuter flights on Fridays). Sometimes he would fly to Tampa and spend the weekend at my place. One weekend he drove from Miami to see me. My car was broken down and my step-brother (my personal mechanic!) was out of town. The Citizen said he didn't need to travel for work anyway, so he would stay in Tampa and drive me to and from work each day. What a heart!

We were engaged on Cinco de Mayo (May 5, another double number) 2002 in honor of our Spanish heritage(!) We both enjoy Spanish music and food, and can speak some Spanish. It really just coincidental, that's just the day I picked out an engagement ring. I am probably the only woman I know who finds such a wonderful guy, gets engaged - and has an anxiety attack! I knew my world was about to change and I was afraid. I had never been engaged before or had any close calls with marriage. I think I ate a cup of yogurt the whole day. I was so nervous I could not eat.

On Memorial Day weekend 2002, the Citizen came to live with me and we moved into this house on my birthday October 2002. That date was another coincidence. The house was supposed to be done in September. We were married on November 30, 2002, at Forbidden City Chinese Restaurant, Clearwater FL

I never thought I'd find someone so wonderful at a time when I lost someone else so wonderful.