First of all, thanks to all of you who inquired during my absence –
Black Feline,
Spiderwalk and others. I’ve just now got caught up reading all your blogs.
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July’s been a tough month for me. It began way before the calendar date of July 1. Fireworks, unfortunately, are legal in our county. Our farce of a law states that if the buyer signs a paper stating the fireworks are used to scare birds away from crops, the purchase is legal. My lovely, considerate neighbors in this area began their annual celebration at the end of June and it ran well past the traditional July 4th date. Now, I love my country as well as the next person. I am so grateful for what we have in this country – freedom, education, and prosperity, but I see no reason to celebrate those principals with loud, bright fireworks that litter yards and streets with their debris. I only wish my neighbors would consider others – others who need sleep such as small children, parents, those who work two jobs or long shifts; and others who desperately need their rest. On July 5th, I vowed allegiance whatever political party would attempt to outlaw fireworks, even the Communists! And yes, if fireworks are outlawed, only outlaws will have fireworks. However, if fireworks were outlawed, they would be more expensive and difficult to get, which I think would thwart at least some people.
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Nanny A.’s sister was in the hospital, then Nanny A. herself. Fortunately both are well now and both Nanny A. and her sister are enjoying getting back to work in better health.
Understandably, we missed several of our bi-weekly outings at Nanny A,’s niece’s house. I’m not sure I’d want company with small children if my mother was in the hospital either. However that left me with lots of time to fill for Branch and Blossom.
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I have come to the conclusion that I am not happy being a stay-at-home parent. I tried it for 19 months and I just don’t like it. As a housewife (I’ll use the old-fashioned term here, because that’s what it is – married to a family, house and all the accompanying drudgery). I have always felt invisible. Nobody really gives a shit about the endless litany of diapers, laundry, cooking, and screaming kids. I am totally sick of it. It just is not rewarding. I don’t care how you slice it. If I work, I realize these chores will still be there, but sending the kids to daycare will outsource some of it, along with giving the kids something to do all day, and hopefully, tiring them by bedtime. I simply do not know how to fill their 12-hour days. Give a total of an hour and a half for meals, and 30 minutes for bath, and that leaves 10 hours of unoccupied children. I hate myself every single time I turn the TV on for them, but there seems little else to do with these kids. They do not touch their toys. Other than an hour outing at the pool (Blossom is ready to go after 20 minutes), it’s impossible to do anything outdoors due to the voracious mosquitos here. Any suggestions on how to occupy toddlers all day will be more than welcome.
The Citizen wisely suggested I begin with a part-time job. It makes sense, why replace the unhappiness of being stuck at home with the stress of getting kids up early, ready for day care, running to work, and doing the reverse in the evening? To that end, I applied for a job at the clubhouse here. My commute would be a 5-minute walk down the street.
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Speaking of the Citizen, fun together is part of ancient history. The most we’ve done this year is to dash out for a late dinner on a weeknight. Then we shovel down our dinner as quickly as possible to get home because I’m so tired I just want to lay dpwn. Our trip to Canada garnered very little free time for ourselves – 30 minutes at the most to play tennis on a couple of days. I miss the things we used to do together. I miss our shared laughs and the fun we used to have. I suppose never again will we have that time.
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My sleep study scheduled for July 5th was rescheduled to July 19. I reported for duty Wednesday night at the appointed time of 10 PM. I am usually in bed by that time, and also had risen at 4 AM that day to take people to the airport, so I was incredibly tired. I wasn’t processed and all stuck with electrodes until after 11 PM. I nearly fell asleep in the chair as the technician stuck electrodes to my head! Electrodes are stuck just outside the eyes, near the joint of the jaw, on the throat, and on the top of the head. Respectively, they monitor REM, teeth grinding and jaw tension, snoring, and brain activity. Yes, ha ha on that last one! There are also electrodes on the leg to monitor restless leg syndrome. Additionally, they place a small plastic bar above my lip which has toothpick-type prongs to measure inhalation and exhalation of breath. I was so exhausted I could even sleep with that thing on. A slight change in position caused the sensor to poke my nose.
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The last couple of classes at martial arts, I was assigned to work with J., a newly minted orange belt. She's the only woman that's begun classes in the past 3 or 4 years and stayed with it. More than once I've mentioned to her that I'm glad she's stayed, since our class is usually 15 big, burly men, and the only two women (myself and another) are advanced black belts. J. admitted the first class was intimidating, but she came back because she really liked the martial art and everyone was very welcoming to her. Egos aren't allowed at our school, so new students are always welcomed and the advanced students are often reminded that without new students, the school would stagnate. I really liked teaching orange belt to J. and she's a good student. She said she can't see why more women don't take martial arts.
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For about 6 weeks I've suffered pain in my right shoulder. Last week I visited my doctor and began a month-long regimen of physical therapy and strong medication. I only hope the therapy helps. It seems that lifting the very large Branch along with a lifetime of poor posture has finally taken it's toll. Some days my shoulder doesn't bother me much. Other days it's a 5 or 6 on the 10 scale with occasional forays into the 7's and 8's.
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