3rd Anniversary

Today is our third anniversary. I was going to write a long, romantic post about how we met but I never got it done. So, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version: We met online at a club for white women and Asian guys. No, it wasn't THAT kind of club, get your mind out of the gutter! The girl who referred me to the club was a fellow martial artist that I used to exchange posts with on Muzi which is a Chinese website. (Don't click on the link because the site is RIFE with pop-ups. I only linked it out of good journalistic practice). I was doubtful at first but I signed up for the club and was snapped up nearly immediately by the Citizen and one other guy.

The other guy was very nice and really did love me, so I felt shitty about breaking his heart. He was in a tragic situation whereby he came to the U.S. as a Chinese fleeing persecution in Indonesia, definitely not a Chinese-friendly country, as I realized from his story. His family fled to Indonesia to avoid the Communist revolution in China. Upon arrival in Indonesia, his family was told they had to change their first and last names to names on a government-approved list. Indonesia is mainly Muslim and hostile to Chinese. On top of that, an immigration lawyer had not filed his asylum papers by his deadline, so he was sort of in a limbo status. But, I also think he did not like being Chinese very much. He did not socialize with other Chinese, as if he wanted to be considered white. He also lived in CA, which would have been difficult to maintain a relationship due to the distance.

The Citizen lived in North Miami Beach. Unbidden and for no occasion, he sent me a Chinese cookbook (although it came Postage Due to my P.O. box!). I wanted to thank him but my computer was not working, so I called Information and got his phone number. So that was our first phone call. (We began e-mailing one another in June 2001.) Part of his job entailed ongoing training, so he arranged to take a class in Clearwater, FL, about 30 minutes from my home. At the time he came to this area, my beloved grandmother was at the end of her days. She was my rock through my parent's divorce and my turbulent teenage years. I dreaded the thought of losing her and didn't know how I'd do without her.

I originally planned to make the drive to Clearwater, however, due to the duress of my grandmother's situation, I did not feel I could. The Citizen offered to drive to the area, so we met for our first date at Brandon Ale House on August 8, 2001. Bear in mind that "8" is a lucky number in Chinese (due to the continous form of the number, trace it in the air with your finger and you'll see what I mean). Double numbers (08/08) are lucky in Chinese also. He brought me flowers for our first date.

My grandmother died on August 10, 2001, at the age of almost-97. Since I did not make much money, I didn't know what I'd do for the last-minute fare home. As my step-brother (who lived with me at the time) and I searched the Internet for airfares, the Citizen called to see how I was doing. He immediately offered to purchase my airline ticket with his frequent flyer points. Since he traveled (and still does) often for business, he amassed airline points quickly. A situation which would have been financially difficult for me was resolved instantly. I had only one short date with him and he offered to do this for me. On my birthday on October 2001, he told me he loved me. I did not reciprocate the feeling. I was used to relationships ending in failure and I thought it dishonest to lie to him and tell him I loved him if I really didn't. I believe I said it on Thanksgiving, 2001. It took me another month!

We started seeing each other on alternating weekends. Mostly I would fly to Miami on Friday nights and return Sunday nights (thank you American Airlines for that choice of 3 commuter flights on Fridays). Sometimes he would fly to Tampa and spend the weekend at my place. One weekend he drove from Miami to see me. My car was broken down and my step-brother (my personal mechanic!) was out of town. The Citizen said he didn't need to travel for work anyway, so he would stay in Tampa and drive me to and from work each day. What a heart!

We were engaged on Cinco de Mayo (May 5, another double number) 2002 in honor of our Spanish heritage(!) We both enjoy Spanish music and food, and can speak some Spanish. It really just coincidental, that's just the day I picked out an engagement ring. I am probably the only woman I know who finds such a wonderful guy, gets engaged - and has an anxiety attack! I knew my world was about to change and I was afraid. I had never been engaged before or had any close calls with marriage. I think I ate a cup of yogurt the whole day. I was so nervous I could not eat.

On Memorial Day weekend 2002, the Citizen came to live with me and we moved into this house on my birthday October 2002. That date was another coincidence. The house was supposed to be done in September. We were married on November 30, 2002, at Forbidden City Chinese Restaurant, Clearwater FL

I never thought I'd find someone so wonderful at a time when I lost someone else so wonderful.

Will The Real Santa Claus Please Stand Up?

When I was a teenager, I was at the mall with my sister (several years younger than I) one Christmas season. We saw a mall Santa and my sister said: "Why is Santa there? Isn't he supposed to be at the North Pole making toys for all the little girls and boys?" I thought fast and said "Uh, yeah, he's REALLY busy at the North Pole. This guy is just a guy that dresses up like Santa to help him out." She seemed to buy that.

Sort of like the time I told a little Catholic boy that the church was closed for cleaning. He was told that the church was ALWAYS open (sort of like Wal-Marts now) and we walked by, he pulled the door handle and lo and behold it was locked.

I should be really good at bluffing the Branch and Blossom.

No Thanksgiving for Low-Wage Workers? No Thanks.

Sadly, this most American of holidays won't be celebrated by everyone who could possibly celebrate it. Yes, there are those who've always worked to keep us going even on holidays - nurses, doctors, EMT's, people at water and power companies who keep your oven and TV on, police, firefighters, etc.

Each year, it seems like more retailers are open Thanksgiving, forcing low-wage employees to work on what was once considered a nearly sacred holiday. However, management teams would not make decisions to open their stores if they knew the stores would be devoid of customers. Apparently many people find shopping more satisfying than spending time over a large meal with family and friends. Even golf ranges are open, according to one of my classmates who works at a golfing range.

I plan to do my part by not patronizing any business tomorrow. If I have forgotten some small item, I will make do without it. Today I put gas in the car and bought extra formula and babyfood, so the important items are taken care of. Maybe it's just that people can't plan ahead or get organized any more. Come on, people. Thanksgiving comes the 3rd Thursday of the month, every year. Get ready for it. Shop ahead of time. Stay at home. Enjoy your families or friends. Relax. Read a book. Go out and ride your bike. Let others enjoy it also.

My First Christmas...

...as a stay-at-home parent. So, I don't know what to get/do for my husband for Christmas. I e-mailed my complaint to a friend who was also a SAHP (stay-at-home-parent) and she sent me a t-shirt of her company's product, which is a product my husband consumes too. But that's all I have and that seems sort of lame. She also suggested making a scrapbook to surprise him, but he already knows I'm doing one of pictures from the Branch's and Blossom's first year.

So, I'm asking YOU, Jess, GroovyVic, and, Mother Goose Mouse for suggestions.

It seems stupid to buy him something with his own money and wrap it up in a box. That's one thing I hate about being a stay-at-home parent - no income.

Big K. Update Part 2

I took Big K for a follow-up today, and sadly, he has lost almost a pound. He was only 9 pounds to begin with, so he really can't afford to lose anything. The vet said I should give him anything (reasonable) he will eat. Last night I made Arroz Con Pollo (chicken and rice) and he begged for and got quite a bit of chicken. Today I gave him baby food chicken, which he really seemed to like. I also bought several cans of Fancy Feast. I had bought it for 25 cents a can one time, and he really liked it.

He has another appointment in two weeks. Luckily Thanksgiving is coming up and he really likes turkey and ham. I will go easy on the ham because I know it's salty and that can't be good for his kidneys. Hopefully lots of turkey and a little bit of ham will tempt him. There is also baby food ham. I may try that.

Life Is Like a Bowl of Walnuts (well, not really...)

Thanks to Jess, I was reminded of one of my holiday traditions that I nearly forgot this year, what with the Branch and the Blossom, Big K being sick, etc.

When I was growing up, we always went to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Each year was a real "over the river and through the woods" Currier and Ives Thanksgiving at Grandma's. There were never any quarrels, spats, drunken behavior, nothing like it. Our family of 5 (then 4 after my parents divorced) was joined by my grandmother, my aunt, my uncle, my great-aunt and great-uncle, and sometimes my cousin. Starting around the beginning of November, my grandmother always had a basket of walnuts and a nutcracker in her kitchen, on a side table. I always headed straight for the walnuts and devoured numerous walnuts prior to the wonderful dinner. I would actually get an asthma attack because I would eat so much at dinner! I also discovered if I drank water rather than milk with dinner, I could eat more food!

The holiday trips to Grandma's house continued all through my college years and occasionally when I had the money (and vacation time) to travel to my home state of PA for Christmas.

At one point in my life in FL, I had 3 jobs. One of them was cleaning house and watching children for my cousin and his wife. They later divorced. When I was still cleaning for them, my cousin-in-law gave me a pink glass bowl. It didn't match a single thing I owned and I felt no affection for her after the divorce, but I hung onto the pink glass bowl. It's held just about everything - pens, old paper clips, cat medicine, etc. At some point that I don't recall, I began filling the pink bowl with walnuts a few weeks before Thanksgiving and continued replenishing the walnuts through Christmas.

I nearly forgot this year until I was reminded by a post on Jess's blog where her aunt suggested she (Jess) start her own holiday traditions. I'll go out tomorrow and buy those walnuts. My grandmother passed away in 2001 at the ripe old age of nearly-97 and I am determined to carry on the tradition of the bowl of walnuts. It's my silent homage to her each holiday season in memory of the wonderful times I was so fortunate to enjoy.

Big K. Update

Big K. has improved somewhat. He ate some chicken today and drank some of the liquid from a can of tuna (vet's suggestion). Although his appetite is not quite back to normal, he seems to be walking better and wanted to spend several hours outside today lying in the garden. For the past 3 nights he has slept on a pillow on my bed. I'm an
ardent medicine administrater, so he's been getting his meds regularly too.

New Additions to the A-List

Please welcome Psychokitty of The Psychokitty Speaks Out, Sandra of Here in Korea, and Muse of Xanadu who have all recently been added to the Herding Cats A-List (I'm sure they're just TICKLED to death...)

Follow the adventures of Psychokitty, his sidekick Buddah who both put up with the shenanigans of the People in their lives. Recently, they re-located to a new home. If you love cats (and even if you hate them), you'll love Psychokitty.

Sandra and her husband live in South Korea with their children. An interesting addition to the blog is that Sandra's husband is a Muslim engineer working for a Korean company. Sandra's blog is of interest to me because I take Hapkido, a Korean martial art.

Muse of Xanadu reflects on a wide variety of topics, from the human ear, to eccentric co-workers, to 80's pop media figures. Just about as eclectic as this blog.

Why I Love Citizen X.

The second paragraph reminds me why I love the Citizen so much.

Hi,honey. I just came back from dinner. We went to a
steak house called Stony Creek.

I am sorry to hear about the poor kitten. Please feel
free to take him to a vet if you have not done so. I
know how much he means to you.

I am sure that the Branch and Blossom enjoyed their
dinner with food for the big people.

I hope that you can get some good sleep tonight.

Love,

Citizen X.

Sick Kitty :((((

This is a picture of Big K at the vet today.

Last night there was some cat pee on the off-white bathroom rug. It had blood in it, but I washed it, threw Miss P. out the door and put it at the back of my mind.
Every morning I find Big K's face outside the narrow window by the front door. He's peering in, waiting to be let in and get his daily ration of moist cat food. I did not see him this morning, which is odd but not unheard of. At times he is late or is at the sliding glass door at the side of the house. Today he did not appear, despite me calling him several times. If I emit a series of 7 tongue clicks 4 times, he appears either immediately or within 10 minutes. I was even sure to face toward the wall outside so the clicks would echo. But no Big K.

Distraught, I drove around the block looking for a grey body :( I also walked down the main road of the development. No kitten. (Although he's 10 and a half years old, he'll always be my kitten). After returning to the house, I looked high and low and saw a grey fuzzy butt behind the entertainment center. He NEVER goes there. I knew immediately he was sick. It must have been he who peed on the rug and not Miss P. He must have been there all night and did not even come out to beg at the table. We had pork chops, his favorite dish.

I immediately took him to the vet and they said he has a bladder infection. He got some medicine and a subcutaneous injection to help rehydrate him. I gave him a dish of freshly roasted chicken (real people food) but he would not touch it. About 6:30 PM he came out and limped to the litterbox in the back bathroom. The vet said to check if he was straining while urinating, so I tried to peep in the slots at the top of the litterbox and I heard him whiz but could not tell if he was straining. Then he tried to go behind the entertainment center, so I put him in his crate with food and water. I will call the vet again tomorrow.

I love this cat so much. I have had him for 10 and a half years. He’s traveled to PA with me in the car a couple of times, spent nights in hotels, and been a guest at my sister’s and mom’s houses. I can’t lose him now, because I’m STILL adjusting to being a stay-at-home parent, and being home with him is one perk I try to remind myself of in a somewhat thankless, 24/7 we-never-close job. Big K is so cool and loves to be around people. This spring when we had 30 Chinese here to make dumplings, he laid in the middle of the floor, all relaxed and stretched out like he enjoyed the party. Big K likes pork roasted with soy sauce, ham, chicken, salmon, tuna, turkey, and beef braised in wine. He has a very cultured palate and has been such a good friend to me. I’ve known him longer than my husband!

Asian youth persistently harassed by peers

This
story is certainly disconcerting to me as a parent of half-Asian children. I've often thought of how an African-American woman's heart must break when her child comes home from school and says "Mommy, what's a nigger? Someone at school called me that today."

My answer is already prepared. If the Branch or Blossom say: "Mommy, what's a Chink? Someone at school called me a Chink today." I will say "It's what stupid people call
a Chinese person. People who haven't taken the time to get to know you or the wonderful history and culture of the Chinese people. Don't mind them, they aren't worth your time."

Regarding the article, bullying has always existed in schools, and due to human nature, always will. Politically correct attempts at schools instituting a no-bullying policy will ultimately fail because it doesn't take human nature into account. The "turn the other cheek" policy just doesn't fly with me either. It works for small, infrequent slights, but not persistant harrassment that makes a child's life miserable. Take it from a formerly bullied person. Parents and teachers turn a deaf ear, plus the bullied child is further bullied for reporting to teachers or principals. Talking to the parents is likely to disappoint for reasons of firstly, setting up your child for more ridicule for going to the bully's parents; and secondly, the bully's parents most likely did not teach their child compassion or consideration for others. Sometimes the only correct response is for the bullied person to stand up and fight for himself. In other words, a good old playground fight or ass-kicking may be the only resolution to the situation. Some people just don't learn any other way.

Proud of my Dad and Stepmother

I am so proud of my dad and stepmother (pictured above with the Blossom and Branch this past Easter). Although my father never served in combat, he supports our troops. My father was drafted after college but served in clerical positions in Newfoundland, Canada, and Kentucky. For Veteran's Day, my dad and step-mother joined a commemorative walk at the VFW post in Womelsdorf, PA and walked more than six miles to Wernersville PA without a break. My dad quipped that he was WALKING, despite the fact that he owns 8 cars and a motorcycle! They were joined by their friend Ruth, who is several years their senior. Ruth also walked the entire trip. My dad and step-mom are in their mid 70's. They show excellent resolve of spirit which I hope I can retain when I am that age.

Lube Now, Not Later

From www.engrish.com

Branch and Blossom at Publix

Yesterday the Branch and Blossom rode in the car-carts at Publix. Despite the confused look on the Branch's face, he had a good time pretending to drive.

"A Good Old Cat"

This is from the book "Why Animals Sleep So Close To The Road (And Other Lies I Tell My Children) by Susan Konig. . The book details her life as a metropolitan working woman, born and raised in New York City, who becomes a suburban stay-at-home mother. The chapters are short, funny, and very easy to read. I found this chapter worth copying, word by word. WARNING: It's a tear-jerker:

"Do you think we'll love the baby as much as we love Scout?" This was the question my husband and I asked each other in the months before our first child was born in 1994. We were serious. We knew we loved our cat whether or not she was a mouser; we just had no clue what it would be like to be parents.

Needless to say, like billions of new parents before us, all our questions and doubts were answered instantly. We loved our baby. So did Scout, who slept beneath the crib every night, gritted her teeth and ran away when her fur was pulled, and later on, lay on the floor and eventually let our toddler daughter rest her head on Scout's furry tummy. Eventually Scoutie lost some of the seniority she'd had for eight years and had to take a backseat to the baby.

On another night two years later we lay awake, again consumed in deep thoughts. Our daughter was now two (Scout was now ten) and in a few days the burgeoning population of our small apartment was almost certainly going to violate some city code. "Will we love the new baby as much as we love our little girl? After all, it's the three of us (well, four, counting Scout); how will this new stranger fit in?" Scout just lay on top of my huge belly and purred. She had already connected with the little stranger.

Our son was born, all twelve pounds of him. The morning I was scheduled to leave the hospital, the pediatrician came to me and said my son couldn't go just yet. He had jaundice and his bilirubin numbers had not improved enough for him to leave the hospital.

"But my 2-year old is waiting for me. We've never been apart before." The doctor implied that the baby could probably be released that evening. So I reluctantly decided to go home to my firstborn. That night word came that my son would have to stay another night. It was the four of us now (well, five counting Scout), and one of us wasn't home.

My daughter was watching Dumbo, and it was the part where the mother elephant is locked up in a cage and can't get to Dumbo so she sticks out her trunk and rocks him. I burst into tears over the little boy I'd carried for nine months and slept with in the hospital. We'd been attached all that time and now we'd spend the night with eleven city blocks between us.

It was a long night. The next day my husband brought our son home and finally we were all together. The new stranger fit in just fine. Scout waited patiently, purring. The moment both our babies were in bed, Scout fell asleep in my lap.

Now our daughter was four and our son was two. Scout was twelve. She developed kidney failure and started having seizures. We tried to hydrate her with fluids under her skin using needles and an IV bag in the kitchen every night. I never thought I'd be able to do anything like that, but I was a mom now. When her weight got down to almost nothing and she could only lie in the corner, we knew it was over. My son had just learned to be gentle with her. He'd go over to her spot by the heater and pet her so softly and say, "Oh, key-kat." One night she wasn't in her place, and I feared the worst. She hadn't been able to walk more than ten steps without falling down. After looking all around, I found her lying like a proud sphinx in the middle of the kids' room. She was watching over them one last time.

Blog Name Change

Effective immediately, the name of this blog has been changed from "Somewhere in FL" to "Herding Cats". The description pretty much says it all. "Herding Cats" seems to be a more accurate description of trying to keep up with infant twins, two cats and a travelling husband. "Herding Cats" suddenly struck me yesterday as an awesome blog title.

Awesome Side Kick (for the wrong reason)

This looks like an awesome martial art sidekick, except the kicker is breaking a window of a local bank to protest President Bush's visit to Argentina. Yeah, that's it. Destroy local property and businesses. THAT'LL show the U.S.

Door to Door Religion

Maybe because this is a nice suburban neighborhood, religious whackos think we need to go to church. Lately we’ve been accosted by a couple of door-to-door church salespersons. The lady today even brought her children, one of about 6 years old and one still in a stroller! That’s right, teach your kids to go right up to strangers’ houses and knock on the door. Dumbass.

I have a strict policy against buying anything sold door-to-door. Anyone who thinks their imposition on my time in my home is going to cause me to want their product or service has another thought coming. And a door slammed in their face.

Yes, I have tried the “no soliciting” sign. The problem was, most people don’t know what “soliciting” means. Maybe I can go to Home Depot and look for a sign that says:
“No Selling Stuff, Including Religion. Go Away.”

Door to door religious solicitors are the only time I wish I had a BIG dog…

Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

Associated Press

Thu Nov 3,12:32 PM ET

Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.

Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."

The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.

Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.

The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and as they wheeled the "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.

The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."

Modern Moist Towelette Collecting.

Yeah, those things you get when you order wings, fried chicken or some other messy food. There is actually a whole website dedicated to collecting them and it's called
Modern Moist Towelette Collecting. They even have a theme song. More proof that some people have wa-a-a-a-y too much time on their hands.

Thanks to Jeff Houck of The Stew