Legless Chair and other Thoughts

Big K. is making himself comfortable on my latest acquisition, the legless chair. I saw these in the Target flyer this weekend. They're actually sold as dorm or apartment furniture, however, we spend lots of time on the floor with the Branch and Blossom. Reading bedtime stories last night was a breeze and easy on my back with this new chair. The legless chairs are a hit with the whole family. The cats like to sit on them and the Branch likes to play with them. Unfortunately he likes to try to stand on them also. I think he's part goat!

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Last night I was thinking alot about my grandmother and her house. When I woke up this morning, I realized it was the 5-year anniversary of her passing. 2001 was a formative year for me. In less than two months, I met the Citizen (who would become my husband), my beloved grandmother passed away, and of course, the life-altering September 11. It was surely the end of my innocence and marked my quite belated entry into adulthood.

I met the Citizen for our first date two days prior to the death of my grandmother. Although I knew the end was near, I elected to take a few hours away from a telephone. I did not have a cellphone at that time. At the time, I lived with my stepbrother and I told him I would just be a few hours, if anything "happened", it would just have to wait. Two days later, I was at work. I remember I was wearing my Bruce Lee t-shirt (because it was Casual Friday) and I got the phone call from my mother, who sounded oddly matter-of-fact and unflustered. I e-mailed the Citizen and I told my supervisor that my grandmother had passed away, and my supervisor kindly asked me if I needed to go home. I informed her I didn't have a car, since my stepbrother had dropped me off that morning. She replied that if I wanted to go home, she would have somebody take me home. However I thought it would be better for me to stay at work to keep myself busy. Three of my co-workers took me to Chick Filet for lunch and kept me busy with idle chit-chat.

I told my stepbrother to be prompt to pick me up. He's a great guy, but promptness isn't his forte. When we got home, he handed me a beer with a sign on it "special bereavcement price, $4.75" and I did have to laugh. While I sipped the beer, he surfed the Internet to find me a cheap flight home for the funeral. Just at that time, the Citizen called. I told him we were looking for flights. Without hesitation, he offered to get me a flight using his frequent flier miles. Mind you, this is after only ONE date (and no, get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't do THAT) and really, he barely knew me. With the hotel phone in one hand and his cellphone in the other, he called USAirways and made a reservation for me on the spot. My problem was solved by someone I barely knew.

The viewing was small. Many of my grandmother's friends and relatives had passed away long before her. It was mostly family, and even my father (her former son-in-law) made the drive by himself to attend the viewing. This was enormously comforting to me. I can't remember when I was ever so glad to see my father. He and my grandmother were close - my father's mother passed away when he was a boy, and his father never remarried.

Also at the viewing, an employee of the funeral home was present. I imagine this was to stave off emotional family feuds, attend to the mourner's questions, etc. My 9-year old nephew saw this man standing to the side with his hands clasped in front of him and said "shouldn't he be serving food?" I suppose my nephew expected a cocktail party, with canapes on a tray! We did go out to eat after the viewing, assuaging my nephew's need for food.

The funeral was the following day. After the service, the funeral home gave the immediate family a few moments alone with the casket prior to loading it into the hearse. I didn't know how to honor a person who had been such a warm, loving influence throughout my entire life up to that point. I kneeled down, then placed my palms and forehead on the floor in the Asian traditional bow. My mother was quite moved by this. I stood up quietly and stood at attention briefly, then backed away for the undertakers to do the rest of their job. The graveside service was small and brief, and the church provided a luncheon in their community hall. Without air conditioning, we were just as eager to see it finish and change back into our shorts and t-shirts.

My grandmother lived in the same house not far from Hershey, PA since my mother was a little girl. Although the house started out along a small-town road, the road later was deemed a state thoroughfare, and becamse heavily travelled. The house seemed huge when I was a child. It had 4 rooms plus a kitchen and bathroom downstairs, and 3 rooms plus a bathroom and former kitchen upstairs. The house was filled with wonderful memories of childhood holidays, backyard barbecues, ice cream, cookies and the love of my grandmother and aunt. My college boyfriend quipped that I had a real Norman Rockwell-style grandmother.

It was almost "over the river and through the woods" to drive to her house for holidays. A stretch of suburban road rolled out into the countryside and through small Pennsylvania towns. Fields lay barren in the winter and in summertime corn grew high as harvest time neared. A right turn put one on the road leading straight to her house, past more farms and tidy homes. It's a drive I still enjoy, to this day. Everyone else in the family takes a new route to my aunt's new house, which is near my grandmother's house. With development in the past several years, the old route that took an hour takes closer to an hour and a half, but I still drive it for the memories.

I miss you, Grandma. I wish you could have met the Citizen, and the Branch and Blossom. You were such an influence on my life and made me the person I am today.