Poll Callers

Am I the only one annoyed by this? For the last couple of weeks, we have received at least two phone calls per week of people who want to do surveys or polls. Come on. I have twin babies. I don't have TIME for this crap! If you want to know my opinion, read this blog.

As of a couple of years ago, we became blissfully free of telemarketing calls by signing up for the Do Not Call Registry . There should be one of these registries to opt out of these surveying assholes too.

There oughtta be a law.

Oh that's right. There IS a law. In fact, there are TWO laws and they contradict each other.
Here in FL you must wear a seatbelt while driving or riding in a car, truck, van, etc. However, if you are riding a motorcycle, a helmet is optional. Can someone PLEASE explain this to me?!

Yay! X. passed his citizenship interview!

X. had his citizenship interview this morning. He passed, and after he produces a
couple of required documents (a copy of our marriage license being one of them), he
should be able to participate in the citizenship ceremony on July 4th. Woo-hoo!

The U.S.Post Office is Sexist

Every time I go to buy stamps, they try to give me stamps with flowers on them. Then I say, "Don't you have anything more Republican, like flags or Ronald Reagan? I'm just mailing my bills." Then they usually come up with the trusty flag stamp. Actually, we pay most of our bills online, but that's none of the post office's business. They lost our business long ago. Anything worth a crap we send by Airborne. The post office has a special skill for losing any piece of mail with a check in it.

I haven't done this yet, but I would like to send a guy into the post office and see if the clerks try to sell him stamps with flowers on them.

Hurricane Prep, cont'd

After 4 hurricanes last year, I got quite skilled at hurricane prep. Here's a couple of things I do in advance: clean the house (if my house gets destroyed at least it was clean, dammit!) and do laundry. Actually, I clean and do laundry in case water is not available after the hurricane. Fill both cars and the propane tank for the grill. Grocery shop (see below). Make rice (see below). Drag patio furniture into house or garage. Fill plastic jugs with water. Charge deep cycle (see post below).

The hurricane grocery list is: bread, bagels, chips, pretzels, water, crackers, tuna, cat food, hot dogs (easy to grill and, vaguely, a meat protein source), hot dog buns and condiments, canned applesauce, canned juice, jelly, BEER, wine and toilet paper. This year I will have to add baby food, diapers, and formula.

Last year as one of the hurricanes was forecast to come our way, I made extra rice. The next day when it struck, our dinner consisted of garage-grilled pork chops and fried rice. I made the fried rice the Girl Scout way - in a skillet on top of the grill grate, by the light of a flashlight (which I held in my mouth while cooking). Making fried rice also allowed me to use up several fresh vegetables and eggs. We enjoyed our tasty, hot dinner while watching hurricane updates on TV, powered by our inverter. I bet none of the neighbors had such a tasty hurricane dinner.

So stock up and make extra rice. Go ahead. You'll be the envy of all your neighbors. And if you have any other inventive hurricane tips, feel free to post a comment.

Hurricane Prep

If you live in a hurricane-prone zone, and can't afford (or find) a generator, here is the next best thing. Go to Sam's Club, Home Depot, or Lowe's and get an inverter.

Then get a deep cycle battery. You can get it at Sam's Club or at boating supply stores.Get at least the 105 AH model. The inverter attaches to the battery using the familiar red/black cord combinations, just like jumping a car battery. You can also get a mega-battery with 8 terminals, which will rung for a LONG time, but bring your own team of Clydesdales to haul it home, since it's quite heavy. You do have to charge the deep cycle if you haven't used it for awhile, using a battery charger like ones sold to recharge auto batteries. If it's completely dead, attach it to your car battery and run the car for about 15 minutes. Then attach it to the battery charger and let it charge overnight. That's what I had to do the beginning of this hurricane season.

Ok, so the inverter/battery combination won't run the refrigerator or the A/C. But it will power a light, TV, small fan, coffeemaker, cellphone charger, and laptop. It was a great asset during our record 4 hurricanes here in FL last year. When my stepbrother took me to pick out my VERY OWN inverter and battery, I wondered aloud why they weren't FLYING off the shelves.

Happy Hurricane Season, everyone.

New laptop cord

Boy, I can HARDLY wait until I get my new laptop cord. As it is, I have to be very careful not to move the laptop or it will lose power since the cord is loose and has to be JUST a certain way in order to work. Right now the laptop is perched on the bed with the cord held in place by a book ("The Chinese in America" by Iris Chang).

In case you're wondering, no, this laptop's battery does not work and it's alot cheaper to replace the cord than the battery.

I know I will be reading more blogs, commenting on blogs, and writing more posts when I get the cord.

A conversation with X.

I don't just refer to my husband as X. to keep him anonymous. His name really DOES begin with X. That's because he's Chinese. A few weeks ago, my mother visited. One evening she went out to dinner with my cousin, M. and his long-time girlfriend, D. My husband called me that night from a busy restaurant while waiting for his food.

X: How's your mother doing?
Me: Good. She went out for dinner with M. and D.
X: Oh, that's good. Where did they go?
Me: Cheddars (note: They've reserved the domain name but don't yet have a website or I would have linked it here. It's a family restaurant, mid-priced, casual, the sort of thing that's quite popular here in FL).
X: Fudders?
Me: No, CHEDDARS!
X: Isn't that for kids?
Me: No honey. That's Chuck E. Cheese

Pam Contains...

The pork chops were almost done and there wasn't time for another beer, so I picked up the can of Pam to read the ingredients. BTW, don't waste your time looking for the "Pam for Grilling". There's no difference between that and the regular Pam, which works just fine.

The ingredients of Pam are as follows: Canola Oil, Grain Alcohol, Soy Lecithin, Propellant. GRAIN ALCOHOL? Yes, grain alcohol, that staple of college parties everywhere. Best mixed with Kool-Aid and served in a refrigerator drawer.

I am surprised teenagers aren't busting open cans of Pam right and left. If you don't believe me, get up right now, yes, RIGHT NOW, go to the pantry and get out the can of Pam.

In the words of Dave Barry, "I am NOT making this up!"